New Horizon

Today (Friday) I went to visit another school I am considering on attending in the fall. It is a good school, but so is the first one I looked at. They have a high percentage of graduates that pass the provincial exam for massage therapy, good graduate employment rates, small class sizes, etc.
So now I'm a little distraught. I already had my heart set on the first school, now I'm not so sure. I like this one too. Grr...
I had a few errands to run since I was in the city, but nothing that couldn't wait an hour. So I was off to the waterfront. I sat on the beach enjoying the sound of the waves lapping on the shore, the sand between my toes, and sunshine warming me.
As I was looking over the lake I felt God say, "Your future is like the horizon before you."

Limitless.
Unending.

“Stay close to Me and I will show you where to go.”

Ahh...peace again.

Lord, I don't want to go anywhere but where You are!



"I look behind me and You're there, then up ahead and You're there, too— Your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in!"    
-Psalm 139:5-6

If You Love Me...

"If you love Me, show it by doing what I've told you."
-John 14:15 The Message

God is not petty. He is just telling me how I can show Him that I love Him.

It's like...
Whenever you get into your best friend's car and she says, "I really need to clean my car! I should clean my car." Well. I can do something about that. I love her and she is telling me a way that I can show her. So we spend some time together making her car clean and shiny.

God is doing the same thing:

 "The person who knows My commandments and keeps them, that's who loves Me. And the person who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and make Myself plain to him."
-John 14:21 The Message

"If anyone loves Me, he will carefully keep My word and My Father will love him—We'll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving Me means not keeping My words."
-John 14:23-24 The Message

I show God love by doing what He tells me, knowing and keeping His commandments and carefully keeping His Word. Sounds like a lot of work! But is it work when I am doing it to show my love for someone? I detail cars for a living. It's hard work, but doing it for my friend was not work - it was fun!

When I stop doing things because I HAVE to, and realize that when I GET to do it out of my relationship(friendship) with Him, it becomes much easier to do the things He asks me! (Also He is all-knowing and has my best interest in mind...why should I argue?!?)

When I show God that I love Him, I find that He shows me it back! He makes Himself plain, and moves right into my neighbourhood! How awesome is that? I want Him to make himself "plain" or clear, simple, honest, easy & straightforward to me. No guessing or trying to figure it out.

So when I love God, by doing what He commands, He loves me back, by showing me Who He is and what He wants for my life. What a Friend I have!!

First Love

Thank you Pastor Ted Yuke for the inspiration and framework!

My life over the past year or so has been a struggle. A lot of feelings, thoughts and issues to deal with. But my greatest need, my biggest desire has been for God. He became the Love of my life.
His desire for me in all my unworthiness, my failings, my shame and my hurts, made Him very attractive!
He took me with all my brokenness and made me whole, spoke life in dry places, set things right in me. He loved me with an everlasting love. He became closer to me than my husband, or any other human being, ever had! There was an intimacy there that could not be matched.

 "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. For your love is better than wine."
-Song of Solomon 1:2 NKJV

His love was better than anything else I had tried! He filled the holes in my life, provided for me, brought me peace and joy in times of great pain. God guided me in the way that I should go.

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love. Sustain me with cakes of raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am lovesick"
-Song of Solomon 2:4-5 NKJV

He took care of my EVERY need, and some wants too! I eventually began to take for granted the "banqueting house" and His "banner". I only wanted Him for what He could do for me. For the good feelings and things He provided for me. I was no longer intimate with Him. I didn't sharing my thoughts and feelings with Him. I just expecting to have the same feelings, even though I didn't spend time with Him.
I'd built a wall and blamed it on Him.

"My Beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, He stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows and gazing through the lattice. My Beloved spoke, and said to me: Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away..."
-Song of Solomon 2:9-10 NKJV

He called for me. I was focused on my feelings and what I didn't get from Him.

"Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines. For our vines have tender grapes"
-Song of Solomon 2:15 NKJV

I let foxes, sin, creep into my life and spoil the intimacy that God and I had developed. I gave into my selfish desires, thoughts and feelings. I thought, "If He doesn't care about me, then what's the use in trying!" I'd neglected the relationship and was just going through the motions. I'd let sin destroy the fellowship we had.

"I was sound asleep, but in my dreams I was wide awake. Oh, listen! It's the sound of my Lover knocking, calling! 
'Let Me in, dear companion, dearest friend, my dove, consummate lover! I'm soaked with the dampness of the night, drenched with dew, shivering and cold.'
'But I'm in my nightgown—do you expect me to get dressed? I'm bathed and in bed—do you want me to get dirty?'
But my Lover wouldn't take no for an answer, and the longer He knocked, the more excited I became. I got up to open the door to my Lover, sweetly ready to receive him, desiring and expectant as I turned the door handle. But when I opened the door he was gone. My Loved One had tired of waiting and left. And I died inside—oh, I felt so bad! I ran out looking for Him, but He was nowhere to be found. I called into the darkness—but no answer."
-Song of Solomon 5:2-6 The Message

A huge sense of lonliness, loss and emptiness soon became very familiar and very frustrating feelings. I didn't like it. NOT at all.
So what to do?

"One day I went strolling through the orchard, looking for signs of spring, looking for buds about to burst into flower, anticipating readiness, ripeness. Before I knew it my heart was raptured, carried away by lofty thoughts!"
-Song of Solomon 6:11-12 The Message

I went back to my First Love. I looked around at all the ways He was speaking to me, calling me to intimacy with Him. Opened my heart and spoke to Him, like I had before, as if He was physically there with me. Repented of the things I'd allowed to break the fellowship. I renewed my desire for Him, and not for what He does for me.
Now I say with the woman of Solomon's desire,

"Run to me, dear Lover!! Come like a gazelle. Leap like a wild stag on the spice mountains!"
-Song of Solomon 8:14 The Message

Come quickly and with power - I want to share my life with You!

Spring Cleaning!

It's time to do some spring cleaning! You would think I am going to go through all the closets, drawers and any other place stuff collects in my house, organize and get rid of the junk & other things that I no longer use.
Well...I do mean that...sorta...
I'm going through my life, my spiritual life, opening all the closets, drawers & other places to God saying, "What's in here that isn't pleasing to You? What is holding me back from pursuing You with an undivided heart? What attitudes, thoughts, habits & desires need to go?"

"Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about;"
-Psalm 139:23 The Message

"...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..."
-Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV

"...dear friends, let's make a clean break with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without. Let's make our entire lives fit and holy temples for the worship of God."
-2 Corinthians 7:1 The Message

God, I'm ready now! Show me the thoughts, attitudes, feelings, hurts, pain, plans & desires that need to go, so I can make room for the new things, the better plans, the more abundant life that You have for me!

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on Me, when you come and pray to Me, I'll listen.When you come looking for Me, you'll find Me. Yes, when you get serious about finding Me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree."
-Jeremiah 29:11-14 The Message

I Am Valuable

I heard something this week that really made me think:

"My value is independent of what other's think of me."

Whoa! Wait. Back UP.
My worth as a person isn't based on what other people think of me? Or even what I think of myself? Good to know since people's opinions change all the time! My opinion of me changes often too...

Then what do I base my value in or on? What decides my value or worth?

The rest of the statement goes something like this:

"My value is dependent on the price that was paid for me."

Hmmm...
The price paid for me. God gave His Son's LIFE for ME. He died for me. I think that is quite the price to pay for ME!

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave His Son, His one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life."
-John 3:16 Message

"But God put His love on the line for us by offering His Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to Him."
-Romans 5:8 Message

I must be quite valuable for Jesus to give His life for me. Thing is, my value isn't based on something that changes. Jesus died and rose again. Done. No going and taking it back. Therefore my value never changes.

No matter what happens in my life, I AM VALUABLE! Thanks to my loving Saviour!