My name is Sarah and I'm a perfectionist.
Perfectionism is defined as:
a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.
I HAVE to do everything right or else I feel like I've failed. If I feel angry and upset at someone because of what they have said or done to me, I become more frustrated and upset because I know that God has called me to be forgiving and merciful. But those feelings are not "natural" in that situation. I have trust God and wait for my feelings to catch up - get in line with what God says. Until they do I need to remind myself of what He has said and work to keep good words out of my mouth and thoughts in my mind.
It also keeps me from doing things because I'm afraid that I won't get them right or I will fail. I've tried to learn to play guitar many times, but like a lot of things, I give up if I cannot get it or am not progressing fast enough for my liking. I was hoping to be a rock star overnight. So, yeah. Doomed to fail. I didn't even give myself a chance.
My perfectionism is driven by a fear of failure. I hate failing, not getting something correct, or disappointing people. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this boat, but it still drives me crazy! I've seen so many opportunities lost because I have been afraid of failure or rejection.
My perfectionism reminds me of my need for God. It drives me to Him because I know I can't do life in my own strength. It shows me how much I need the Holy Spirit to be present in my everyday life so I can see where He is working and fall in step with Him. Because with the Perfect One who never fails, I know that I can get it right too.
"God, for whom and through whom everything was made, chose to bring many children into glory. And it was only right that He should make Jesus, through His suffering, a perfect leader, fit to bring them into their salvation."
Hebrews 2:10 NLT
"'My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.' Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 The Message
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me."
Philippians 3:12 The Message
