Not Where I Want To Be.

How often I whine because it seems that God is taking fooooreveeeerr to get my life to the place I think it should be.

He can see farther ahead and knows exactly what I need. His plans are beyond what I could ask or think yet I whine to Him because He is taking to long.

There is a reason for this detour, or long cut, as I like to say. Maybe I'm not quite ready, or someone else isn't ready, or maybe the thing I want so badly isn't what I need or all that I think it will be.

Maybe I need to sit back and remember who is God.

And that definitely isn't me!

"When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land. God said, 'If the people are faced with a battle, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.'”
-Exodus 13:17 NLT

"I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work. God's Decree. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, Doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, So will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them."
-Isaiah 55:8-11 MSG

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us."
-Ephesians 3:20 MSG

Draw Near.

A while ago I had a conversation with a wise man.
I said, "I don't think I have ever been this close to God."
His response, "That's because you need Him."
"Then I don't ever want to not need Him!!"

That was about 18 months ago. When I was struggling through emotions and pain of from having separated from my husband. I was in a place where I desperately needed my Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around me and whisper His love and affirmation to me! I may have been alone, but I was learning that I didn't have to be lonely when He was there for me whenever I called out for Him.

Now that I have grown and developed beyond the pain. Now that I have a life full of great relationships with friends and family, I was wondering, if I needed God less. Is His presence as close as it used to be?

Yes.
It is.

But my need for Him has changed.

I need His constant presence in my life. I feel vulnerable without Him.

I long for the quiet moments of sitting down beside Him and conversing as long time friends. I desire His loving correction and gentle rebuke, they make life better, even though it may hurt for a while.

I want Him to show me and be with me every step that I take though out the day. I want to see where He is at work so I will effectively love and help others.

So my need for Him changed, but He never changes. He is always near those who draw near to Him.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."
James 4:8a NLT

"But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."
Galatians 5:22-23 MSG

Receive and experience the amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, deep, deep within yourselves.
Philippians 4:23 MSG

2012 My Revival Year.

Last year I wrote: "This year is a year of revival, not of my spirit, but of the hopes, dreams and ideas that were broken and shattered, of my identity, of a deeper sense of who I am in Christ."

Year of revival?

Yes. It has.

This past year has been incredible.

I have seen God work in me, through me and with me. He has been absolutely mind blowing! I have fallen deeper in love with Him, learned more about Him and spent some amazing time with Him.

I've had Him speak to the very core of my being, touch those deep, dark, lonely places and bring hope and belief to dreams and ideas that once seemed impossible or unthinkable.

He has brought me through great pain and heartbreak; He held me through it all!!

When I look back I see how His hand has been guiding me, how His grace has been sufficient in every area - relationally, physically & emotionally. I'm overwhelmed with His awesomeness!!!

There is unspeakable joy that I can only credit to Him. He always finds a way to show His unique and precious love and care for me.

My love and desire for His Word has grown immensely. I feel like an empty river bed when I get away from reading & studying it! I can truly say, "As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for You, O God." Psalms 42:1 NLT

Without Him my life is pointless and meaningless. He gives me reason to wake up each morning with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. A new day to walk with Him and see where He is working and what I can do for Him.

His Word had radically changed my thinking, which changes how I look at life, how I treat people, how I respond to situations and really, who I am.

I love Him. He has been soooooooo good to me.

I'm looking forward to what 2013 has in store for me - my year of redemption/restoration.